I heard the signs that the website Plenty of Fish was just a bowl of plenty of perverts. I knew it. I don’t know why I felt the urge to grab life by the balls and run headfirst into dating there. I don’t know why. It was a Saturday night, I had just gotten off of work at 5:00 pm. There was this boy Joshua. He was so cute I couldn’t even fathom how he even liked me. He was a navy-man with a flawless smile, and big brown eyes. I am a 300lb plus sized girl. I look decent with makeup on but no amount of Spanx could hide the pudge that I have persistently created with Jack in the Box croissants, great value chips, and my favorite eats from La Perla de Jalisco. CURSES! Anyway he was insistent upon meeting me. That in itself should have raised a red flag because we hadn’t even really been texting for a week. So I was really bored and he kept begging me to meet him. I told him I was insecure in myself but still he was relentless. Then I fell into his trap. I dressed up, did my makeup and wore these cute brown bow suede platform wedges that I love so very much. I almost got them dirty at the gas station as I put gas in my car. But, I hoped he would be worth it. I couldn’t be more wrong. I met him at a Starbucks a couple of miles from my house. I saw him sitting in a nice black Toyota Tacoma. The truck was the truck of my dreams. I got off first gathering all the strength in my arms and prying them off of the door handle. He got off and he looked more handsome than his pictures. I gasped for air. I wondered how this could be happening to a girl like me. I felt so lucky. He looked at me and he seemed sort of surprised I suppose. I didn’t know how to read his face. I can always read people’s faces. I said “So are we going inside?” He said “No let’s just talk in my truck.” This completely threw me off. I was ready to chat over a nice cold mint chocolate chip frappucino! How could he do this to me? Regardless, I agreed and we sat in his truck. Almost immediately he started poking my fat love handles very harshly, a look of amazement drilled on his face. I couldn’t believe this guy was fawning over my fat as if I was a huge piece of pizza dough. I felt a bit sad and ashamed. My first date ever would be the most awkward thing I would ever remember. I tried to be pleasant and polite but the fact that he looked at me as a piece of entertainment made me feel so low. Any type of conversation was hindered by the fact that he had a weird fat fetish. Don’t get me wrong I should have expected this but somehow I thought he would be different and that he would like me for me. WRONG. All the wrong words kept coming out of my mouth. He had the personality of a door nail. He kept trying to hold my hand and I felt nothing. It was like I was holding a cold fish. I kept pulling away from him. It was a disaster. Then he had the Gaul to tell me we should go to a more quiet place. It was 10pm on the parking lot of a Starbucks. There could not be a quieter place in the world. He just wanted to hork and pork me and I would not be moved. I may be fat but I am not a fat slut. The temptation was tremendous though. I prayed to God to protect me before I went on the date and that he did. I was stubborn to go home. I told Joshua I was ready to leave and he looked pretty bummed out about it. He still reached in for a hug and also for a kiss but I turned my head away and snickered inside my head of what an idiot this guy was. I felt genuinely disappointed. Is there any real men anymore? The moral of the story is to be very finicky when on dating websites. There are Plenty of fish but few gentlemen.